存档

2007年12月29日 的存档

1,被学生在背后起外号是所有老师的宿命。老歪有个长得肥头大耳的同事,男,相貌颇似猪肉荣,会被学生背后唤“猪肉X”应该是理所当然的事,但是不,学生居然叫他“仔仔”!老歪实在很郁闷,偷偷调查了一下,想知道学生们为什么给他安上一个帅哥的外号,学生异口同声回答说:“不是那个仔仔啦,是那个——宰——宰啦!”
2,有个大龄单身男教师,每天下了晚自习回家之后还要趴在QQ上聊一个多小时的天,早晨上班的时候眼睛熬得通红,黑眼圈好像大熊猫。几个星期后有个班主任敲诈他,非要他请客吃大餐,不然就不告诉他近来在QQ上一直勾引他的女孩到底是谁——还能是谁?是他们班上的坏男生!
3,裤带松老师是学校团委会书记,组织召开了一次全校卡拉OK大奖赛,决赛的时候会场座位只有一百个,于是印了一百张门票,盖上大戳分发给各班的学习精英,谁料比赛那天全场人满为患,而且个个都手持门票,真假难辨,裤带松老师头大如斗。
4,吴老师班上有个学生经常不交作业,但是次次都说自己已经做好了忘带了,吴老师表示不相信,该学生就委屈地大叫起来:“我真的不骗您,骗您我就随您姓!”吴老师不好再说什么,等下了课回到办公室才反应过来,该生也姓吴。
5,就算是被学生崇拜也是一件令人感到郁闷的事情。迷死罗就是,因为年轻漂亮活泼,很多小孩喜欢她,有次她蹲在厕所嗯嗯,正在操场上玩耍的学前班女孩急急忙忙地跟着往女厕所跑,有的甚至还在厕所门口摔跤,但是又很快爬起来继续超前冲,往人堆里挤,挤到光着屁股的迷死罗身边,叫“老师好!老师好!”然后也不离开,把迷死罗团团围住,欣赏迷死罗的美貌一直到迷死罗嗯嗯完毕。
6,学生家长也是一种很可怕的动物。一名高中女生不知怎么怀孕了,家长吵到学校,责备学校没有把他的孩子管好,更是指着她的班主任(男,单身),大吼:“这件事情你要负主要责任!!”班主任哭了:“啥事体让我负责任都行,哪怕你贪污我坐牢都好,这样的事情我负不来责任啊!”事后同事们安慰他,说:“没事,你就让她把孩子生下来,然后去做DNA鉴定,万一不是你的呢?”
7,寒假的日记交上来之后,班主任发现一名学生的日记上从头到尾都是写他每天下午和一群人赌博的事情,班主任把该生叫到办公室,问:“你每天赌博你爸妈不管你吗?”该生答曰:“我爸坐庄。”
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Dec 29th, 2007 | Filed under 未分类