不是我

看见博客链接里新近添上的变态林妹妹了吗？点一下吧，这丫头太可怜了，博客刚刚开张，今天打了一天的扫除，换了N个模板，依然门可罗麻雀，连控制面板都不知道怎么进，手把手嘴对嘴地教她，累我吐气如兰半日，真是元气大伤。（NB轰轰地，好象第一次弄博客时没人教似的。）
第一次见到林妹妹时的最直接反应是：挖，好漂亮！第二个反应是：我要灭了她！——怎么可以容忍身边有这么出色的女孩子？我估计她也一定这么想——因为如果Y不这么想的话我就太失败了。。。。。。
屁股翘胸部大酒喝的多烟抽的漂亮字码的好也就算了，我忍忍也得过，要命的是我喜欢的事她总是抢先做了，我喜欢的毛男她总会抢先泡了，连偶尔出门坐一趟火车也会面不改色心不跳地吊一凯子回来，一问小帅哥哪里人啊？答曰I COME FROM 山东——真真八千里路云和月，一支蓝杏出墙来。出墙还出的屁颠屁颠地。
除此之外另有许多令人咬牙切齿的事情，比如说飙车比我快、粉丝比我多、媚眼比我靓、土话说的比我标准、我儿子对她比我对我还亲近，桩桩件件掰着指头数起来，没有一件不让我嫉妒她。
怎可以忍受？怎可以忍受？！
如果不是我的博客早委托胡匪制造了天文数字的点击数在先，打死我都不会链接她！因为Y绝对会在最短的时间里在人气上超过我——一想到这样的事情发生我就打冷战，就好象喝了三百吨米醋一样牙齿全部又酸又软。
如果不是我们曾经在一个酷热的夜晚稀里糊涂睡了一觉的话，打死我都不会对她产生一种毛茸茸的暧昧感觉，那种感觉充满了奇异的汗味和头皮味，让我一闭眼就会莫名其妙地想起一个挡在风扇前一边用手指卷着头发一边说话的女孩，因为她挡住了风扇，害我流了不少汗。为了越过她的身体吹到风，我的头一直僵硬地昂着，令画面变成一首歌：“穿过你黑发的我的脖子”。。。。。。交颈而眠估计源出于此。
所以当我那个不孝顺的儿子惹是生非时我会第一个想到她—–毕竟在一起睡过,我儿子不就约等于她儿子?于是撂下烂摊子给她后我挥手吱吱去了，累她前后奔波，四处为难，我一句谢没有，她也好象该当如此似的。——这样的德性，怎么不人见人爱？还有，刚刚还趁我不在家时偷偷去帮我倒了垃圾洗了衣服，暗恋我到了这个地步，铁打的心都瘫痪了呀！
还是不说谢，永远不说谢，一说谢感情就泻了。
所以我只能说：林妹妹，以后不管做什么都不许超过我哦！！！
又:你去睡我的床之前能不能把地板先擦一下啊?好几天没擦了. 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