不是我

首先，在淘宝上开一小店，卖什么呢？什么都卖。

什么都卖不是一点个性没有？在淘宝上开店，没有个性是不行的，没有个性是不可能引起大家关注的。所以我的店也要有个性才行。

去哪里找个性呢？

很简单，那就是不管卖什么，都拍一高清大片广告搁网上，导演现成的——孙庄子，导演摄影一呀么一把抓；演员也现成的，NANA，RS什么的，连床戏都能演，成本什么的完全不去考虑，他们要是敢问我要钱，我就装孙子。

打个比方说，有这样的一个广告：NANA同学晚上卡拉OK归来，嘴里哼哼着鞋儿破帽儿破之类的流行歌曲，走进了黑漆漆的公寓大楼，电梯坏了，只能从楼梯一阶阶爬上去——突然，一个黑影出现了，假设他是RS扮演的，因为不要钱不用白不用嘛——这个黑影跟着NANA，NANA好害怕啊，只好拼命地跑，黑影在后面猛追，跑呀跑追呀追，NANA同学好不容易跑到家门口，掏钥匙开门，哗地一声：一大串钥匙啊！一个个拈来，由于焦急总是选错钥匙，半天门都没打开，这时黑影不慌不忙不声不响地来到NANA身后，NANA惊恐地回头，发出啊的惨叫声——黑场，不，红场，血淋淋的那种. THEN，另一个同学，长得和NANA一模一样，当然还是NANA扮的——不要钱的就拼命用啊——在黑暗的楼道里被黑影追，她跑啊跑来到家门口，迅速地取出挂在胸口的一把大钥匙，飞快地插入锁孔，打开门，进屋，再关上门，把可怕的黑影咚地一声关在门外——在长得和NANA同学一模一样、实际上也是NANA同学装扮的女孩正惬意地坐在沙发上喝着咖啡时，商品和广告词出来啦！——

二手钥匙挂绳，只需一块钱就能在危机时刻挽救你的生命！

这样的大手笔，应该啥玩意都能卖的掉吧. 做得好的话，别人的东西也放在我店里卖，那我岂不是无本万利？

发了发了，马上就要发了！

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