不是我

他坐在对面，桌子上左手边放着一支手机，用的是联通卡，右手边放着一支手机，用的是移动卡，一顿饭的功夫接了二十多个电话，左边说完右边响，右边说完左边响，脸颊上几乎能烙两键盘印子。他的表情瞬息万变，好像电话那端的人就坐在他面前似的，他的身体也非常认真地配合着表情摆出千变万化的姿势：
“不行啊，实在是没办法的事情，我再使劲别人不拉屎我也没法子！”
“我跟你说，这个没问题，大不了我们先把人拉来，搞个开工仪式，然后再设计图纸. Saloner resigned after serving as dean https://paperovernight.com/ for the last seven years. ”
“不要说你，就是我听到这个消息也很难过，但是我现在手头实在是紧，再说我还欠别人钱哪！”
“你就说我不在！问你号码你就说不知道，这种人不能得罪，但是惹不起我还躲不起吗？”
“妈，你别哭啦，我正在外面应酬哪，忙的很，你又不是不知道她是什么样的人，你跟她计较什么呀！”
“唉，你别哭啦！我正在开会，忙的很，你又不是不知道我妈是什么样的人，你跟她计较什么呀！”
放下手机之后他抱歉地微笑：“实在是不好意思，太忙了，我每个月的手机费都要缴好几千哪，你瞧！”
他掀开上衣露出腰上勒的紧紧的皮带，“联通VIP，送的！”
他放下上衣。“移动比较小气，只送葡萄酒。”
大概十分钟的样子过去了，很奇怪，手机一支都没有响，他突然有些坐立不安，一会儿拈起左手边的看看，一会儿拈起右手边的看看，还是一支都没有响，他想了想，犹豫了片刻，拨了一个号码。
“喂，你在干嘛？我？哦，我在和一个老同学吃饭. 哎呀不是女的，是男的，什么？帅不帅？嘿嘿. 嗯，有点帅，不过比我还是差一点哈哈哈哈哈哈. 好. 哎你听我说. ”
这一次他和以前不一样，他用了纯正的普通话对着电话讲，而且一边讲一边从沙发上抬起了屁股，朝洗手间走过去。
当他满面红光地从洗手间出来的时候，桌子上另一支手机又响了起来。他急忙放下手里抓着的那支拿起桌上正在响的那支：“喂？啊？好！嗯！我马上来！好！”
他挂掉电话，将两只手机分别放在大衣的两边口袋里，抱歉地微笑：“实在不好意思，太忙了，我要是有三只耳朵的话，我都要买三支手机！”
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