不是我

每天都是崭新的一天，今天也是，既然下定决定要让我的博客在全世界乃至全宇宙发扬光大，每天达到100以上的点击率，那么还等什么呢？
我精神抖擞地起了床，把满是口水的枕头放在阳台上晾着——估计到晚上就会干了——今天的天气真好啊，如果你选在今天结婚办喜酒的话你就走运了，你和新娘站在酒店门口一点都不会觉得冷，你的新娘也一定会为能穿最薄最露的那种婚纱高兴坏了的. 好，下面废话少说进入主题——起床后洗刷完毕，对着镜子仔细地涂上了睫毛膏，背着包穿上鞋捧着花生糖盒子就这样出了门，关上门之后我发现我忘了带钱包，于是折回头脱下鞋子开门进屋拿钱包，拿了钱包之后穿上鞋出门，关上门之后我发现手机又没带，于是折回头脱下鞋子开门进屋拿手机，拿了手机之后不再穿鞋了，站在门口苦思冥想，确定钥匙钱包手机都拿好了之后才小心翼翼地穿上鞋，小心翼翼地关门，下楼，我想如果人人都象我这么细心的话，本拉蹬一定很快被抓到。
就着样在温暖的阳光下我一边吃着花生糖一边往小区门外走，走着走着突然觉得脖子上有凉意，我禁不住回头一看：啊！猜我看到什么了？（给你一个世纪你也不会猜到，算了，还是告诉你好了。）
我看到了本拉蹬！！！虽然他长胖了留了长发整了容还安了一脸人造青春豆，但是我还是一眼认出了他就是那个在幕后指挥飞机撞踏世贸中心的家伙。
怎么办？我一个劲地提醒自己：镇静！一定要镇静！好在他没有发现我已经发现了他，我还有时间！我急忙掏出手机——幸亏记得带上了手机，迅速拨通了白宫的电话，用流利的英语告诉布稀我找到了本拉蹬，接着很快又挂断了电话，一切都神不知鬼不觉. 本拉蹬在我身后悠然漫步，一点都不知道自己被人出卖了. 就这样因为关心国际大事我约会迟到了十分钟，虽然被女朋友责怪，但是我还是觉得很高心，因为我做了一件好事。
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