先进性教育

Aug 6th, 2005

黄蓉气乎乎地看着一灯大师:“怪不得瑛姑要杀你,你也是,为什么当初不救她的娃娃?你们是夫妻,她的娃娃不就是你的娃娃吗?”
一灯沮丧地叹气,摇头:“你们哪里晓得,其实那个娃娃不是我的,而是周伯通的啊!”
郭靖黄蓉闻言大惊。
郭靖道:“晚辈十分不了,为什么瑛姑是你的妻子,而她生下的却是周伯通的娃娃内?”
一灯欲言又泣,欲泣又言:“此事说来话长. 唧唧歪歪唧唧歪歪. 就在我和王重阳在宫中专心练习先天神功的时候,却没有料到他的师弟周伯通在宫中自由走动,终于酿成大祸呀!”
黄蓉:“自由走动怎么会酿成大祸?”
一灯:“自由走动本来不会酿成大祸,偏偏就让周伯通遇到了正在习武的瑛姑,周伯通这家伙存心要在瑛姑面前卖弄,于是露了两手点穴绝技,将瑛姑制服,使瑛姑对他五体投地,还求他教他武功. ”
黄蓉:“哦,就这样生了小娃娃吗?好险啊,靖哥哥,我幸亏没有让你教我9阴真经. 不然的话. ”
一灯:“¥#¥%◎¥%呸呸. According to the essay writing service gift wharton blog post, that expertise is the chief advantage of using an admissions consultant or coach; 教她武功怎么会生下小娃娃呢?”
黄蓉:“怎么,不会生小娃娃么?那到底是怎么回事?”
一灯:“唉. 周伯通教瑛姑习武本来也没什么,可是他别的不教,偏偏要教那点穴的功夫,他也不想想,孤男寡女共处一室,你点我我点你,成嘛体统. ”
黄蓉:“咦,不对啊,刚才你给我疗伤,我们不也是在一个房间,你不也是在我身上点呀点的?”
一灯:“靠,你是小女孩,我又这么老了,况且我是为了给你疗伤. 那不一样!”
黄蓉:“如果不是为了疗伤的话,就会生下小娃娃吗?”
一灯实在忍不住,吐了一口血:“放屁,点穴怎么会生下小娃娃呢?”
黄蓉急了:“那到底他们是怎么回事呢?”
一灯:“他们就这么点来点去,不知不觉就行了夫妻之礼了. ”
黄蓉:“行夫妻之礼?难道他们背着你偷偷拜堂成亲?”
一灯:“哇呸!我是说,他们在没有夫妻之名的情况下行了夫妻之实!”
黄蓉:“什么叫行夫妻之实呢?”
一灯一边喷血一边嚎啕:“我靠. 就是. 就是. 就是上了床在一起睡觉!!”
黄蓉郭靖闻言大惊,黄蓉:“什么?那不好了靖哥哥,我们在密室疗伤时,在一张炕上一起睡了一个多月. 啊呀,那我岂不是也要生小娃娃了?”
郭靖:“蓉儿,怪不得你最近这么不经打,还总是受伤. ”
黄蓉:“那怎么办?我们还是赶快回桃花岛生娃娃吧!”
郭靖:“好!我希望我们的娃娃,男的像我,女的像你!”
黄蓉:“如果我们生男娃娃,就叫郭巴,生女娃娃就叫郭贴,你说好不好?”
郭靖:“嗯!一切都听蓉儿的!”
黄蓉与郭靖幸福地手拉着手,正准备离开时,两只满是鲜血的手拖住了他们的脚。
郭靖黄蓉低头一看,原来还是吐血不止的一灯大师。
一灯:“哇哇. 等你们有了娃娃以后,一定要记得,从小就要给他们进行. 呃. ”
一灯飙血飙的说不出来话,于是使尽全身真气,用染血的手指在他们的裤腿上写下“先进性教育”五个大字,写完后便心满意足地断气了。
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