第二集 采访

Feb 6th, 2004

在鱼骨头奶妈和美丽的翻译小姐琪子的陪同下,我们浩浩荡荡地来到村长办公室。显然,这两个洋人已经等了好长时间了,大鼻孔直冒粗气。
“唧唧瓜瓜瓜瓜唧唧唧唧喳瓜瓜!”
琪子翻译说:“他们说,村长好,他们一个叫KUCHA,一个叫NEDVED。是《没事找事报》的记者。”
琪子一说KUCHA,两个洋人中的胖子就直了直腰,显然他就是KUCHA--裤衩,靠,要是中国人,打死他也不会叫这种名字!那么另一个瘦子就是NEDVED--累得捂得,他听到自己的名字可直不了腰咯,因为他的肩膀上扛着一个看起来很重的玩意,像个大铁盒子,盒子前面有块玻璃,他老是睁一只眼闭一只眼拿那块玻璃对着我,既然你叫累得捂得,嘿,你就累去吧!
我们在办公室舒服的稻草沙发上分别就座,奶妈挤了一些奶给我们端了上来。
“开始吧!”我目不转睛地盯着琪子。
“瓜瓜唧唧!”琪子对洋人们说。
那个裤衩好像是带头的,他一说就是一大堆话:
“嗤嗤叉叉唧唧瓜瓜碌碌噗噗。。。。”
琪子愣了半天。
我有点不高兴,再怎么说,琪子也是第一天上班的小女娃娃,怎么就不能一句句地说好让人家慢慢地翻译呢?
“琪子,别害怕,让这家伙再说一遍。。。”
“不是的,村长,我听的懂,我怕翻译过来你会不高兴。。。”
“什么?这S洋鬼子说了啥?”
“他,他说,在我们村选村长的时候,只有你一个候选人,而且还是你爸爸老村长题名的,他,他还说,我们村不民主。。。”
“什么?我们村不民主?他就民主?”我气的咬牙切齿,洋人他妈的真不是东西,吃饱了饭就来挑刺,“琪子,告诉他,他懂得什么叫民主?他要是民主,怎么自己坐着,却叫手下扛着个大铁盒子站着?告诉他!靠!”
琪子点头,对着那裤衩唧唧瓜瓜说了一通。
裤衩听了之后,和那个扛盒子的累得捂得对望了一眼,哈哈哈哈地大笑了起来。
“瞧!”我对琪子和奶妈说,“他们不但喜欢挑刺,还一点都不尊重人!”
我站了起来,对奶妈嚷道:“我要以牙还牙!奶妈,把我厨子里的那件旧泳衣拿来我穿!记住,要旧的!”
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